Installation of the Heart Drive.
CUSTOMER: I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?
COMPUTER STORE REP: The first step is to,open your HEART. Are you able to locate it?
CUSTOMER: Yes, I have, but there are several programmes running right now. Is it OK to install when these are still running?
CS REP: What are the programmes running right now?
CUSTOMER: Let me see.... I have PASTHURT.HTZ, and LOWESTEEM.SYS, GRUDGE.BIN, and RESENTMENT.BAK all running right now.
CS REP: No problem. The LOVE programme on your new HEART DRIVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.HTZ from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent MEMORY, but it will no longer disrupt other programmes. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.SYS with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.SYS. However, you may have to comepletely turn off GRUDGE.BIN and RESENTMENT.BAK. Those programmes prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you see a way to turn those off?
CUSTOMER: No, I can't. Can you tell me how?
CS REP: OK, my pleasure. Go to the START menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many time as is necessary until GRUDGE.BIN and RESENTMENT.BAK have been completeley erased.
CUSTOMER: Okay, I've done that. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS REP: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will continually install itself for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
CUSTOMER: Yes, I do. Is it completeley installed now?
CS REP: Yes, but remember that you only have the base programme. You need to begin connecting to other HEART DRIVES in order to get the upgrades.
CUSTOMER: Oh, no!! I have an ERROR message already. What should I do?
CS REP: What does the message say?
CUSTOMER: It says, "ERROR 412 - PROGRAMME NOT RUNNING ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS" What does that mean?
CS REP: Don't worry. That's a common problem. It means that your LOVE programme is set up to run on external HEART DRIVES but has not been run on your own HEART DRIVE yet. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means that you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can really "LOVE" others.
CUSTOMER: So what should I do?
CS REP: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE.VIZ" ?
CUSTOMER: Yes, I have it.
CS REP: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
CUSTOMER: Thank you.
CS REP: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVENESS,DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and will begin patching any faulty programmes. Also you will need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your RECYCLE.BIN afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
CUSTOMER: OK, I got all that. Hey!! My HEARTDRIVE is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.EXE, PEACE.EXE and CONTENTMENT.EXE are copying themselves all over my HEART.
CS REP: Then LOVE is installed and is running correctly. You should be able to handle it from here on. One more thing before I go....
CUSTOMER: Yes?
CS REP: I want to be sure that you understand that LOVE is FREEWARE. Be sure to give it, in its various modules, to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and you may even receive some really neat, unexpected modules and files in return.
CUSTOMER: OK. I will share it freely. Thank you so much for your help. Bye.
CS REP: Bye.
by Lynne Hussar
