This site comes to you from Harborne, Birmingham, UK
and has been online since 1995
"Davids Emporium"
Click here for www.davidsemporium.co.uk.


"POLITICAL DEFINITIONS"




This is dedicated to all Politicians!!

SOCIALISM.......
You have two cows and so give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM.......
You have two cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM.......
You have two cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM.......
You have two cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM.......
You have two cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and throws the milk away to keep the price high.

TRADITIONAL CAPILTALISM.......
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multipies and the economy grows. Then you sell the herd and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the others to produce the milk of four cows. Later you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You go on strike with the other farmers because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You engineer them genetically so they live for a hundred years, eat only once a month, and they milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION.......
You have two cows and and you don't know where they are, so you break for a long lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You count them and learn that you have five cows. You count them again and find that you have 42 cows. Counting them again it seems that you actually do have two cows. You stop counting the cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION.......
You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. You worship them.

AN IRISH FARMER.......
You have two cows. You claim Government subsidies for eight cows.

A BRITISH CORPORATION.......
You have two cows. Both are mad.

A CANADIAN FARMER.......
You have two cows. Everyone thinks they are both mad but they aren't, they are just whiny.


Original author unknown



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