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GRANDMA'S FRUIT CAKE RECIPE
Time for some cooking!!!
You will need the following:
A cup of water,
a cup of sugar,
four large eggs,
two pounds of flour,
two cups of dried fruit,
a teaspoon of baking soda,
a teaspoon of salt,
a cup of brown sugar,
AND A BIG BOTTLE OF WHISKEY!!
1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
2. Sample the whiskey again to be sure it really is high quality.
3. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again, to be absolutely sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of it and drink. Repeat. Turn on the metric elixer, beat one cup and add some butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat the mess again.
5. Make sure the whispey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two bowls and add to the egg then chuck in the cup of fried druit. Throw in the flour. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sip some more whiskey before adding to the mood fixer!!
7. Add the baking sofa, you sure could do with a lie down now!! Where's the wottle of biskey gone? Stir in the soda if you can find the mixing cup and that wooden spoon thingy.
10. Now sample the whiskey again to check for tonsilsisity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something like that. Who cares? Check the whispy. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add another tablepoon of sugar or whatever you can find. Add some of the Whipsy if there's any left.
13. Grease the oven, turn the cake tin to 850 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiksy, whipsisky, cup another try, try again, have another drinky, where's that oven? And go to bed.......or have a snooze, what the heck!!!
Yum Yum! Zzzz! Zzzzzzz!!!!
Author unknown, but I've jazzed it up a bit!!
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