This is dedicated to all those people who have twisted minds!!!

OUTSIDE THE PUBLIC TOILETS...
"Toilet out of order, please use the floor below."

IN A LAUNDROMAT...
"These machines are automatic: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out."

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE...
"Bargain basement is upstairs."

IN AN OFFICE...
"Would the person who took the step ladders yeasterday please return them at once or further steps will be taken."

IN ANOTHER OFFICE...
"After a tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."

OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP...
"We exchange anything: bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?"

NOTICE IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP...
"Closed, due to illness."

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK...
"Elephants please stay in your car."

NOTICE SEEN AT A CONFERENCE...
"For anyone who has children and doesn't know it there is a Day Care Centre on the first floor."

NOTICE IN A FARMER'S FIELD...
"The farmer allows the public to walk across these fields for free but the bull charges."

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET...
"If you can not read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons."

ON THE DOOR OF A REPAIR SHOP...
"We can repair anything." "Knock the door loudly, the bell isn't working."